my "blind date"
i've realized i'm constantly behind time. it's clearly reflected in the way i blog. cos last week, i was writing bout the week before last and supposedly that current week, but nv finished it. and now i'm goin to have to finish it up and therefore write about last week this week. sigh, an accurate picture of how my work and revision schedule was like while studying..
to summarise (i intend to rectify this problem), last week was indeed a boring week. went for driving and rushed out my nus sch essay on monday. had the most horrendous task of cutting down words, only to find out later that their character count included spacing. so i had to cut summore, resulting in my sprint down to the post box at 4.45pm. can imagine how frustrated i was when i found out the deadline was extended. on the brighter side, at least that's one thing done. spent the next couple of days at the clinic. didn't intend to go down, but i just got too bored at home..hmm.. mayb i am a workaholic after all. but it wasn't a bad choice after all, cos i saw a few interesting operations. went for a swim with cg on wed at toapayoh. had quite a gd swim, tho the pool was a little to crowded for my liking, must have been the sch hols. was supposed to job shadow an engineer around on thurs and fri, but when i called to confirm on wed, he said next week was better. (i tend to get this feeling he was rather reluctant cos he kept postponing it and nv gave any concrete answers) so we fixed it for next monday 10 am at coronation, but i was supposed to call that morning to confirm. ( a little too last minute and impromptu for my liking, but mayb i'll learn to be more adaptable too then)
so on sunday night, i msged him to confirm, but didn't get a reply. then on monday morn, i called him at 9am, and he said he'll pick me up from coronation at 11.30. i must say (with a hint of pride (: ) that i made it in time despite leaving the house late and thinking i'll be late. so i sat at the parapet-like ledge near the pick up point, staring at each car's no. plate to see if it was the correct one.. 15 min passed, and he hadn't come. so i got bored and started reading my adelaide book. another 15 min passed, and by now the ntuc auntie who helps pass parcels to cars driving by must have thot i was plain odd, waiting for apparently nobody. but i decided to ignore her and continue reading. and then another 15 min passed, and i got tired of waiting. it had already been a test of patience thus far. so i called him up and asked what time he wld be coming by. and he said he was in the middle of a meeting and will come in bout 45 min time!! (oh great, you cld have told me that right..) so i marched off for lunch, during which time passed much more quickly. and at 1pm, i returned to my little spot by the pick up point. i'm sure the ntuc auntie had no doubt i was an abandoned kid who was such a nerd reading away to even realize i had been abandoned or something. and i waited, and waited. and i decided 1.30 was my cut-off time. i'll go to town and shop or something, it seemed a much more worthwhile way to spend my time.. well, turned out that he called at 1.20 asking if i was still around, and if so, he'd come by in 10 min time. u see how justified my perception of his reluctance was. ( and u prob see my negativity about this whole affair too(: ) i started thinking that a blind date, in whatever aspect, is bound to end up a failure. u see, it requires 100% trust, since the other party is so anonymous he's got no liability to you at all. he's got no reputation to tarnish, no face to lose, no explanation needed. but i guess that's when ive got to be a bit more optimistic and believe that everyone is generally kind and has some sort of responsibility to pple around..
so he did come eventually. and after he asked a few questions that more or less made up my self-intro, i found out he was one of my lower sec classmate's dad. which made me almost instantly forgive him. it's strange how the human mind works, or mayb just mine. in my mind, i had already passed so many harsh judgments on this stranger simply because i didn't know him and didn't believe in him after all that nonsense. but once i realized that he was related to someone i knew, i immediately softened up and decided he somehow deserved my respect, just becos of that. it's mind blogging. like suddenly i can think of it as, mayb he is just really busy. (even tho he shld still have called if he was gonna be late! (i'm hopeless))..
so anyway, he brought me to see a construction site and a bridge. he's a structural engineer, which is a subset of civil engineering i think. anyway, it wasn't v inspiring. i tried not to have the word 'bored' written on my face, so i felt extremely paiseh when he asked me 'are you bored yet', while watching construction workers carry some huge metal scaffolds at the bridge. he then brought me to the office. engineers who don't go down to the worksite basically spend their whole day in front of the computers using softwares to draw staircases and measure angles and stuff like that. the most exciting part was to see them use formulas and calculate something or other to see if the structures they had put in on the com were within limits. apart from that, i really cldn't be bothered if that bridge was tilting a fraction of a degree to the side or anything like that. anyway, he stayed in office for bout 10 min before leaving to see the dr, i think he had a cough. so i hung around the office and disturbed a few pple there with my qns, before i really cldn't tahan and excused myself at 4.15, (since he wasnt coming back for the day anyway).
i wonder what i learnt.. i learnt that i don't fancy civil engineering at all, not that i thot i did, but now i know for sure i dont. i only like the math part bout it..haha.. so mayb another branch of engineering wld be gd? but i'll nv know until i try i guess. so it was a useful experience i'd say, mayb i'm a few cm away from square one. but not much closer to being sure of what i want to do..
this has been a long story, but at least im not behind time anymore! and i realized this is becoming my personal blog.. hey pple..blog blog!
an eye-opening week & a boring week
haven't had the chance to blog earlier cos i was rushing to complete all the scholarship essays. but i wanted to blog bout my week at a&e, so i shall have to summarise and recall from the now not-so-fresh memory.
a&e was fun! it got a bit dull after a couple of days cos the cases were all v similar, but on the whole, i wldn't have minded if it was a bit longer. most of the drs there were rather nice, or at least they weren't un-nice, and those who were un-nice cld be nice if they felt like it too. goes to show how moods can swing when u have such a hectic job. most drs we spoke too told us the usual thing bout medicine.. u sure u want or not?.. don't do medicine!!.. etc. but one of the snr drs was quite encouraging lah. and despite how they say it's hard to achieve much in your personal life when u're a dr, most of them, at least the older ones, are married. mayb it's just easier for guys.. and most of the drs there are from rj! just goes to show how true the fact that rj pple tend to get into med more than hc pple is. not that i really mind. just nv saw it so "real" in my life, in that sense..
the cases there are all rather similar. old pple with chest pains. it's almost like an extended gp clinic. mayb accident, but hardly emergency. except for that one or two occasional cases. which i unfortunately always manage to just miss, either by slacking in the lounge or going for lunch! concluded we bring peace to the a&e department. exciting things only happen when we're not around. then the treatment is also quite standard. take bp, blood tests, set plugs, take x-ray, send to observation. most end there i think.
guess the most memorable and meaningful experience for me was this asthma attack case. basically, this malay (or was he indian) guy came in with serious sob (dr's short form for short of breath..lol) and v severe chest pain due to the asthma attack. apparently he had some alcohol too which prob aggravated the situation. anyway, cos of his condition, he was given immediate attention and a gas mask to help him control his breathing. then suddenly he started calling out loudly "hallelujah, hallelujah, Holy Spirit come down on me! God is the most powerful! God take me cos i 100% believe in you..." i was taken by surprise and loss for words. i had not seen anything quite like this before. so the three of us continued standing there watching. then i asked the drs if he knew what he was saying, and they said he prob had too much to drink. but after that he started telling us stories and i'm quite sure he was pretty sane and conscious of wat he was saying. He told us he went to prison for a few years and was converted there, that God has saved him and given him a new life. He was also pretty excited bout one of his daughters getting married in a church soon, and said we reminded him of his daughters (i wld think in terms of age maybe?) All this time, he was gasping in pain, and saying he knew his heart wasn't normal, and without the gas mask he knew he wouldn't be able to breathe. Yet, he said he was unafraid to die because he believed God will take him home. All this while, I knew i should have offered to pray for him, i knew it wld prob be of great comfort and reassurance to him, and i've heard that my church fren had done that often when the patient consented. yet, being my meek, timid self, i cldn't bring myself too. sigh...He asked if we were Christians and i told him i was. He told me to share my faith with my other 2 frens (deb and aw yong) and i just cldn't say no to him. it's gonna be one of those things i've said yes to and find it difficult to deliver later. After that, he offered to pray for us, and that moment, i felt so absolutely bad. cos it shld have been the other way round! i guess i learnt a lesson bout my faith. cos here was this man in great great pain, thinking he was going die any moment, and he was going to share his faith to as many pple as possible till his very last breath! whereas here i am, alive and perfectly healthy, and not doing anything! Indeed, i have been hardworking for myself, studying and what not last yr, but i've not been very hardworking for God. mayb becos it's i don't like to impose religion on others, mayb cos i don't want to appear to be insensitive, mayb cos i simply lack the courage, and mayb these are all just excuses. nonetheless, i'm not gonna do any hard core selling, i don't really think that's the way either. a person shld discover his/her faith for his/herself. but in any case, if any of u are curious, can come to church with me one weekend. i don't promise i have all the answers tho. i'm still very much but a child in this sense. i'll be having my church confirmation this sunday so if u're interested in coming, do feel free too!
ok, hope u all aren't too put off by all this in any way. that just so happened to be the most meaningful event in my last-week. or mayb in this year..haha..
and as usual i won't finish my post as usual. it's getting a bit long. looking forward to seeing you all on sunday!
which path?
time flies! feb's over already! took a day off from the clinic so i'm basically slacking at home today. was supposed to be productive and think bout wat courses/scholarships i wanna apply and do something about that, but i'm just too lazy! so i ended up surfing the net for things to do for the aust trip.
spent the last week at the hospital. saw quite a few interesting surgeries. and realized that blood and needles aren't that bad afterall, at least the sight of them doesn't freak me out so much. so i dunno if i want to do medicine now.. not that i'm sure i can get in in the first place, but not sure if i want to do it all. cos all along i thot i'd do engineering. not that i know exactly wat that's about. just thought it'll be something along the lines of maths and physics, and since i liked that in sch, then i thot engineering will prob be a natural choice. but come to think of it, i liked math and physics cos i am simply lazy. cos those 2 subjects, once u understand, u've kind of got it, unlike bio, have to sit there memorizing facts and making sure it sticks inside. but on the other hand, i'm not very interest in machines and gadgets, it's still a rather guy-ish thing to me. whereas i find bio (only the human part, not plants!) interesting, but didn't really like it cos it's so tedious to study.. so u see where i'm coming from? i dunno whether i'd prefer engineering or med. i kind of think i'll have an easier time studying engineering, but mayb i'd prefer being a doctor rather than an engineer. come to think of it, i don't quite have a choice. cos i only applied for engineering at all the overseas unis, so if i don't get into medicine here, then i don't really have to make a decision (unless i wanna start 1 yr late). if i do (tho unlikely), then i'll just choose when the time really comes..haha
anyway, the hrs at the hospital have been rather nice and short compared to office job, so i've had quite a lot of free time after work, and i've been going out quite a bit too! met one of my bball frens on monday for dinner, watched "just follow law" on tues, it's super funny! went for driving lesson and piano lesson yesterday. driving's fun, just that it was pouring heavily yesterday, which made getting there and back troublesome. meeting up with classmates to discuss our holiday later, and looking forward to meeting you guys on saturday too!
looking forward to hospital attachment wif deb next week. dont know wat i'm going to do after that tho. shld look for a job. shall try to get a more interactive one, no more pure paper work for me. i wanna see pple and talk to pple! at least i wanna learn how to.. i dun wanna remain a hermit for the rest of my life..haha..
